Prepare to defy logic and embrace nonsense..!

The Reluctant lyricist - chronicles of the Insane..

2009-12-01T05:40:00.010+11:00

After a self imposed hiatus due to my inability to maintain a work life balance, i am back to doing wat i really like.. writing crap and spamming ppl's mailboxes to read it :) So here i am being a reluctant lyricist to satisfy the gulzar in me...

Apart from a few aberrations like himesh reshamiyya, altaf raja, anu malik (non-filmi) and their kin.. hindi music has been pretty enjoyable over the last few decades.. well that just made me sound like someone who has been listening to hindi music since the 1970's.. but my knowledge is limited to as i said the blips in the last 10 years or so.

I was just thinking if i can dwell on some hindi songs with a twist.. the twist being the added knowledge about good old hyderabadi lingo :) as navjot sidhu would say, u can remove anup from hyderabad.. but u can't remove hyderabad from anup..! (sigh)

Following is a refresher course on commonly used/abused words in hyderabad and their marriage with some chart busters wherever i can.. no offense or intent to ridicule any of the original works of all the lyricists.. strictly tbtilv

Note:It is important for you to sing along like in a karaoke to feel the real impact!

1.aiseich (n. eye-say-each)
Indian English : like this only
related forms: is tarah

Made famous by: Hrithik's quandary in Lakshya "Main aiseich kyun hoon.. main aiseich kyun hoon??.. Main aiseich aiseich aiseich hi hoon..!"

2.nakko (n. nak-kho)
Indian English : No re
related forms: nahin

Made famous by: A drunk Ayesha Takia in the lift crooning to a remixed "Nakko Nakko... abhi nakko.. karo thoda intezaaaaaaaar.. shake it daddy"

3.aayinga (n. aah-yin-gah)
Indian English : will come no
related forms: aayega..

Made famous by: A pretty old song. in black and white.. help me with the movie, but it goes like "aayingaaaa... aayingaaaa.. aayingaa.. aayingaa aane waala.. aayingaaaa.. aayingaaaaaaaa"

4.kaiku (n. kye-cooh)
Indian English : but why
related forms: kyun

Made famous by: Aamir khan and priety zinta in "Jaane kaiku log pyar karte hain, jaane kaiku woh kisi pe marte hain.. jaane kaiiiiiiiiiku.. jaane kaiku.. jaane kaiku jaane kaiku jaane kaiku?"

---from here on im unable to think of songs.. its not easy actually :) so switching to dialogues---

5.hona bolke (n. ho-nah boll-kay)
Indian English : purposely
related forms: chalake

Made famous by: Ok i cant think of any songs but a few situations in so many movies
Scene1: "tum ne hona bolke meri beti ko kidnap karaya" -- betrayed side villain to main villian
Scene2: "Yeh galti se ho gaya.. maine hona bolke nahin kiya.." -- when the house maid accidentally kills someone at the crime scene in the bungalow

6.khaali peeli (n. call-ee peel-ee)
Indian English : just like that
related forms: aise hi (the other meaning)

Made famous by:
Scene1: "tum khaali peeli mujhpe shak kar rahe ho" -- unfaithful husband to a suspecting wife who wears 200gms of sindhoor and a thickly bordered zari saree..
Scene2: "inspector saab aap khaali peeli mere pe galat ilzaam laga rahe ho" -- innocent hero to a pan spitting, corrupt police officer wearing ray-ban aviators..

7.wohich (n. whoa-itch)
Indian English : that only
related forms: wohi, unho

Made famous by:
Scene1: "Wohich tera saccha pyar hain jo tu pehchaan nahin payi" -- heroine's friend (with too much makeup and too little expressions) to herione in the last but one reel of the film
Scene2: "jis chor ko aap dhoond rahe the yeh wohich hain" -- intelligent constable to inspector with subzero IQ levels just before the interval episode..

ok..may day.. may day.. my mind is tired.. all this compilation has taken a lot out of me.. time to get back to the daily grind called life!.. Do give in your comments if you have more such gems.. The reluctant lyricist in me would really appreciate :) as i keep hearing in an ad .. the possibilities are endless!

till next time..
take care.. and be sane!

PS: Sincere apologies for using Gulzar saab's reference... and to MNS. (just in case i said something i should not have.. u never know with those guys..)

The Curious Case of Indian Graffiti....

2009-04-23T00:32:00.011+10:00

The thing with Indian graffiti is that in most cases only the guy who writes it can make out what it is and have a good laugh about it.. cos either his handwriting would be a graphologist's nightmare or it would give the creators of spell check a massive heart attack..

over the years ive seen things written on,in,below,between,along,above.. using up every possible centimeter available of various canvasses from restrooms,to trees.. to UNESCO world heritage sites! and the all time favorite Indian graffiti muse.. "the public transport". But the thing that struck me most was the passion with which they do it, so much effort.. chiseling on sandstone or concrete is not easy...

Although you would have seen a thousand examples of this dying art.. some of them just stay with you, either for their stupidity or uniqueness.. below are some of them that most of you might have seen.. but lets revisit to see if they were Write or wrong!

Fast fact: Most of the graffiti is based on one's profusion of love for another.. and the names that have appeared the most are fatima,saleem,raju and priya (no offense to them .. but next time u see something, i think u might agree :))

Artifact 1: If you are from Mumbai, then you must ve read the most prevalent graffiti all over mumbai from Virar to Cuffparade.. "Beanbag 26407367" sprayed on walls in red/black paint. I am not sure if it is the best way to market for a bean bag.. i dont even know if there is a beanbag business at all. I should try calling that no. some time.

Artifact 2: The "Heart" of/on public transport, with cupid's arrow all bent,beaten going through it. The heart obviously will have 2 names on either side of it.. but it is amazing... how consistently people produce the heart with the same crooked arrow with their names. I think it must give them some kind of a high to know that so many people read it.. oh i almost forgot to mention that MOST people DON'T notice it and its only people who haven't written a blog for a long time that notice them...

Artifact 3: "Abuse" - mostly found in restrooms or what we used to call "Bad words written in the school bathroom" :) you get to read it every time you visit that place and end up reading it and sometimes marvel at the genius or give him back the same abuse.. im still trying to recollect what was written in my school bathroom.. dammit cant recollect

Artifact 4: Benches,Desks. Well this one gets refined as you move from school to college to PG.. you learn to shrink it and use associative aides like a mobile phone or paper & pulp.. its just paper actually. A Geometric compass used to be handy in school and the best part of wooden desks is that after few months.. (just in time for the next set of exams) the bench somehow becomes clear to bear the next round of formulae/theorems/statistics.... long live strict invigilation!

Artifact 5: World heritage sites.Wouldn't Shahjahan's masterpiece look even better with another 12,856 love stories inscribed on its walls! The monuments once in a while undergo face lifting or restoration.. may be they want to hide all the graffiti on it!! I seriously don't understand when ppl sneak in and write their love stories on them.. and that too while dodging all the pan stains on the walls!

Leave these ones that stick out prominently and you have many other masterpieces that can be discussed.. but have got an IPL match to catchup with.. Deccan chargers have actually started
winning. I thot i was dreaming.. but if i were dreaming id actually be looking at a graffiti less Gateway of India.. lets just hope this dream does come true!

తొక్కలో ഗ്രഫ്ഫിടി மீட ओका ಬ್ಲಾಗ್ ಕೂಡ .. చ.! (for a local flavor)

PS: About the Deccan Chargers thing.. turns out i was dreaming...! :(

List of Fury..!!

2009-01-25T05:05:00.012+11:00

As on Jan 10th this year i ceased to be 25 something.. now Ive crossed the threshold of a quarter century.. Oh my god i am 26 !! i haven't felt so bad since the time Himesh Reshammiya took to acting.. and before that when Double Decker buses were pulled out of Hyderabad.

I am trying to downplay the thoughts that ring in my head when i think about being 26.. but then you suddenly tend to feel older than what 26 might sound like.. u wont understand until u r in my shoes. its kinda worse than becoming 20 enroute to finishing ur teens..

Well now coming to the part where i explain why i am writing this blog, its cos i want to list down a few "things to do in life*" before my next milestone (logically it would be 50yrs) but ya that's flexible. Everyone has new year resolutions like the one for the board at SATYAM was to be honest this year!. see where they landed.Mine is more of a list* than resolutions.. cos it has a limited liability towards fulfillment :D

*Some of the "things to do" are unbelievably ambitious - Readers Discretion advised

--> Learning to play a musical instrument
It's no secret that the art of wooing is made simpler wen the protagonist can play a musical instrument. For someone who hasn't even come close to touching musical instruments i think even the most primitive ones that tribals use can be a good start. Guitar would be a fantasy, and anyways am not sure how playing for the tribals would help in wooing :D

--> Driving a SUV
Owning might take a long time so am restricting the scope.Hopefully it will not be in the city, cos i find it difficult to maneuver my Santro without any dents and if i drive an SUV, ill turn it into a Zebra with all the scratches. Btw Tata Sumo and Mahindra Bolero aren't exactly what i am looking for...

--> Getting a 6 pack (Minus the tattoos)
I hear a few chuckles.. anyways, the closest Ive come to possess a six pack was when i bought Gilette CARTRIDGES (6 in no.). I already have Aamir khan's video on how to develop a 6 pack. Add to that daily journeys through Mumbai's local trains and buses.. and lo! it might not remain a dream after all. I can still hear some chuckles.. :(

--> Eating a Biryani all by myself
Coming from the land where you cant escape the aroma of biryani from even the smallest of by lanes, i have always struggled to complete a whole plate of biryani all by myself. Although it contradicts my earlier ambition of getting a 6 pack, i hope i will be able to complete a biryani all by myself even if it means i feed the table, chairs and the floor..

--> Play in front of an audience
I have done it before, when we were playing chain cut and Hide n Seek in front of all the parents of the over enthusiastic kids... but then playing football,cricket or basketball in front of a packed audience rooting for you.. that would be awesome. I have only corporate games to look forward to now... i think i might as well settle for "lemon in a tea spoon" for couples at my child's sports day. (that's some foresight!!)

--> Learn to Cook
This is more of a defence mechanism in a state of emergency. Its always good to know how to cook and get used to eating the food you made urself without choking. Right now the motivation level is quite low to do this.. but im sensing i might have to bring this trait on...

--> Growing a French Beard
Currently i sport a 'wireless' french bcos of scarcity in the region between the lower lip and the chin.My grandfather and dad both were able to sport one.. so hopefully it shan't be long before i do it. Not that it'll make me look cool, But just for the heck of it and for all those people who used to intimidate me with stubble..!

I hope im able to knock off atleast a few of these before i reach my next milestone and then i can frame my next set of ambitions. On a different historic note, i am glad i was one of the few lucky ones to have witnessed the end of "Kyunki Saas bhi kabhi..." There was a generation which could not see the end of that soap.. anyways,Here's wishing you the most belated "Happy NEW YEAR!" and hope you have a wonderful year ahead.

Cheers.

PS: May PWC be the first and last auditing firm under the scanner this year.. cos its a matter of livelihood now :) Amen!

Suhaana Suffer..!!

2008-10-06T02:22:00.006+11:00

Traveling in Mumbai is an art.. err.. i think its a science.People who think its an art just sit back and admire the maddening crowd getting in and out of the trains and buses... while those who think its a science.. do what science endorses.. experiment.!

There might have been around 1,85,678 documented past experiences of people's travails in local trains.. but i would want to focus on the lesser of the two evils.. the BEAST .. oh sorry, BEST buses. Although i would suggest that, if you are having a perfectly fine day and just for the heck of it want to experiment with how unforgiving life can be.. then just try getting into a Churchgate-Virar Fast local at DADAR at 5.56 pm. on a weekday. It will be enough pain,suffering and inspiration to write a book on the theme "My last few hours.. and how i was reborn".

Coming back to the task i set upon doing.. the journey in BEST buses.. hmm, well first things first. I have to admire the whole system and network of the buses.. they go to almost all the corners of this "i don't know where it ends" city and bear the brunt of roads that have been battered by the rain. The make up of roads in Mumbai is a little different, they are not of tar (that would mean 34 coats in the monsoon season), but of cement blocks which last longer and need pretty much zero maintenance after laying them. But but but.. once damaged it usually might take an election season to repair them.!

I was not a regular commuter in the buses until "Summer Internship" happened. So all the wanna be ibankers (yeah those were the days when ppl wanted to be..), consultants, analysts along with the nearby milkman, his school going daughter, the night shift security guard and other normal people would be crammed into a bus that travels almost the whole length of Mumbai, starting from my college.

The most striking feature of any bus journey I've seen is that the Conductor of the bus is always frustrated, no matter what time of the day and even if you tender exact change of Rs 8.85 paise to him.. BTW the price on the tickets is in Marathi so u make a guess,give the money and pray to god that u get back the max change possible.

The Bus no.s are written in large font in the front in MARATHI! i finally managed to master all the no.s and was proud of it.. but just yesterday i read 83 as 76.. :O all the effort of learning no.s down the drain :( . Another irritating thing about the bus is that there are NO numbers on the backside of the bus.. so if the bus just left the stop and you are trying to catch it.. wait, how will you know which bus is it? :O there has to be some kind of divine intervention.. which im sorry doesn't even happen in Hindi movies nowadays.!

All said and done, Mumbai bus drivers are the most patient ones unlike the "why am i doing this job" conductors and they ought to be, cos driving a bus at a painstakingly slow 5km/hr in a run of the mill traffic jam needs much more than a repertoire of abuses!. One of the very few places in India where Double Deckers are still plying, and more shockingly may be the only place where a proper queue is made to get into the buses..!!(at least at major junctions). Now.. discipline would be last on your mind when you are drenched in sweat... but try breaking a queue.. pandora's box would sound like an euphemism!!

The moment my summer internship finished there was a huge sense of relief that i don't have to travel again.. but with the possibility of a winter internship of 4 months looming ahead.. i think its time i get myself prepared and fit for the sweat fest...!

PS: Try to spot me in this pic :)

Mera Bharat MyHorn..!!

2008-06-20T23:22:00.017+10:00

Just when you thought i disappeared from the face of the most populous city of the second most populous country of the most populated planet... here i am.. back to college after a 2 month 'weight loss' program called summer internship! (4hrs of traveling in the sweltering heat and you d agree with me)

Being one of the lucky ones to have been to 5 of the 6 metros (Somehow never got a chance to go to BANDHladesh... Kolkata for the uninitiated) i thought it would be fun to compare the road manners across the ones ive have lived in sufficiently and have had the privilege to experience : Hyderabad, Bengalooru and Mumbai. Congestion on roads is a common thread that connects all these cities.. but all the misery is to end soon.. what with the Bengalooru,Hyderabad and Mumbai metros coming up within no time.. just another 11-13 yrs!

But you never know.. the mumbai metro with a super charged Anil Ambani could be completed a few days before schedule and may be we can have "Baa" from 'Kyunki Saas bhi Kabhi..' fame to inaugurate the Andheri station. Oh and btw she would be celebrating her 419th birthday on the daily soap. Legend has it.. that Baa's town has run out of candles celebrating her bday for the last "oh god how long is she gonna live" years.

Lets get started with all the noise then :
Disclaimer: these are just my observations and am sure there will be a lot to add.. but then what is India without diverse opinions ;)

Hyderabad
Road Sense	Minimal. Over enthusiastic Auto drivers bring the overall Road sense IQ to sub zero levels.
Chief Mischief makers	The 3 wheeler called ‘Auto’ The Chief Minister himself, every time he ventures out.
Driver's nightmare	Punjagutta/Ameerpet main roads on a weekday evening. Any place where there’s a celebrity to be spotted, even if it is Abhijeet Sawant.
Method/Mode of Abuse	Mostly a mixture of Hindi, Urdu and Telugu. Usually starts with an attack on self and then proceeds towards family members. Minimal use of English.
Role of Traffic Cop	What?
What to watch out for	APSRTC bus drivers pretending to be a certain someone called Michael Schumacher Pan spitting men behind a wheel.

Mumbai
Road Sense	Excellent in SoBo (south Bombay) due to absence of autowallahs and two wheelers. Lane system followed. Actually there is no space to fool around!
Chief Mischief makers	There’s just so much traffic, everyone has just either themselves or god to blame!
Driver's nightmare	Any place where there’s a flyover being constructed. There is no off peak hour.
Method/Mode of Abuse	Mostly Hindi. Usually starts with abuses related to an attack on family members. Use of English in South Bombay by Porsche, Lamborghini users.
Role of Traffic Cop	Usually stuck near the Airport or any other place where there is a flyover being constructed. Hardly seen on busy junctions. Could have the least life expectancy of all the traffic men in the country.
What to watch out for	Huge Potholes that can eat up a Mahindra Scorpio! The months between June to September (it Rains cats, dogs, buffaloes and dinosaurs).

Bengalooru
Road Sense	Was good till ‘Namma Metro’ started. ‘One ways’ can be very confusing to first time drivers.
Chief Mischief makers	Infosys Technologies (may be has more buses plying than KSRTC) Weird looking Autos. Have the biggest 'back rest for the driver' in the whole of India.
Driver's nightmare	Hosur Road, any day anytime (Married Software Engineers have spent more time on this road than with their newlyweds) MG Road, after the commencement of the Metro Rail.
Method/Mode of Abuse	Mostly in mixture of languages as 98.6% of India’s software junta plies on the roads. Usually sophisticated abuses due to high level of literacy. Most of the Autowallahs can speak English.
Role of Traffic Cop	Sport funny looking attire with a weird hat cum helmet. Seem sincere and effective but somehow go un noticed.
What to watch out for	Any road leading to ‘FORUM’ Eager single guys showing off their two wheelers (bought under loan) on MG, Brigade Roads to impress.. u know…

haven't stayed in Chennai and Delhi long enough to gauge into their traffic woes. India could be the country that is the reason why the inventor of the 'Horn' can live off the royalties for the next 6000 Yrs. All these minor glitches apart, Mera Bharat MyHorn.. err Mahaan!!

Till Next taunt ;)
Adios

Pirates of ViharLake : Curse of the black pulse

2008-02-26T05:31:00.008+11:00

disclaimer: The views expressed in the tirade below are mine,mine and only mine.No committee or commuNitie endorses it.No offense intended to people connected to the facility.. But pun, definitely intended..

A serene location in west India, where a cook from karnataka prepares panneer for a hungry Andhraite... globalisation?? no that's recipe for disaster!! btw welcome to the place i eat or in local lingo Wat is called a 'mess'.Whoever coined that term, saw a pun in it.. at least earlier than i did! Gentleladies and gentleman, fasten your seat belts.. cos the ride is going to be MESSy

I keep wondering if our mess is the world's most 'Aloo' friendly mess.. Mr.Sharad Pawar can back me up on this.. its always 'aloo this' or 'aloo that', and if its not the case, then it is 'that with aloo' or 'this with aloo'. If ever there's a rise in potato prices due to shortage, then hopefully we will get to taste exotic things called other vegetables..

Apart from making spoofs of malai kofta, all types of panner masala, veg biriyani and rasugollas the cook also indulges in soda flavoured curd, sugar water (read as lemon juice), elaichi water (read as tea) and 'eat it if you can' biriyani. The one that takes the cake is the Chinese food dished out every Friday.. oh my gaaaaaaawd..! (I wonder if the guy who cooks on Friday is actually a watchman from Nepal who looks Chinese and cooks miserable-ese)

The mess usually gets highest patronage on Wednesdays when chicken is served.. btw chicken here means rejected neck pieces, the bones you never thought existed in a foul and liver.. which gives us a feeling, it doesn't matter if there's bird flu or not, chicken is still scarce man..! Panneer on the same day reminds you of Natraj plasto eraser. (good exercises for the teeth and gums btw)

The snacks and breakfast somehow manage to raise the bar from utterly atrocious to bearable.But again like the disclaimer: mutual fund investments are subject to market risk, please read the offer document carefully before investing (all in one breath in 3 secs), you are susceptible to FluCtuaTionS in quality. Talk of starting your day with a bang..!

All said and done, there are some good things also like the butter milk, the 'thank god the radius increased' gulab jamun, the jalebi, the dahi wada.. gosh I'm running out of options...
I don't think i've said all i wanted to, but please do try to read between the lines! :)

Everyday, we Spartans go to war.. sometimes we win with great difficulty, but most of the time its 300 reasons why the food beats us into submission !! good gosh, its that time of the day now...

Its time for dinner again... SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.........

Yours frustratingly,
A n u p.

PS:The author lost 5 kilos in the last 6 months.And no.. its not an exaggeration unless the weighing scale at the dispensary is severely under calibrated. Lets hope the vegetables,cereals and pulses are put to better use in the future.... Amen!

Chase is the index of the mind..!

2008-01-01T01:22:00.000+11:00

Resolutions on new year are such a cliche.. talking of cliches one thing that is clichefied to the extent that new born babies can predict what will happen next are the chases in our movies... long live the ramp and the flower cart. (details later)

The usual prerequisites for a cliched chase are an old jeep/bike, couple of crowded streets,a know it all hero (who needs GPS?), and a bunch of goons with ultra low IQ levels.. seriously i always think of all the goons in all the movies worldwide and i wonder why our desi goons have the lowest IQ levels, but they are the people who make the rajnis,mithuns and balakrishnas of our world look good.!

The following is the 8 marks answer for salient features of Indian chases : (exam hangover i guess)

* A bunch of goons will never be able to catch the heroine.. even if she is wearing 3 inch pointed heels and running in a desert.. and the chase ends in she bumping into the hero.. who btw has no work in life at that precise moment.

* When the goons take away the hero's sister or lady love and the hero is stranded in no man's land.. wait a minute, he always manages to get a bike or a jeep whose owner has gone for a leak.It doesn't matter actually, even if the keys aren't there!

* The chase always goes through streets which are littered with fruit/vegetable carts waiting to be rummaged into.. and yeah i forgot the all time favorite empty barrels.. if you are fortunate you can also witness a garland from the cart flying and sitting on the shoulder of the hero after the accident.. (water.. water.. pls..)

* The one aspect that has caught my fancy since i was a child are these arbit 'ramps' that keep coming up at the exact moment for the hero to get away.. or for the goon to jump into the nearest water body. Again, simple genius at work..

* The shortcuts en route the chase are known only to the hero and if the hero is chasing the goon then that leaves the goon no bloody chance to out pace him.. after all, he is the one who can jump 40 feet in the air just by shifting the gear of his bike!

* Neither the hero nor the goon runs out of gas during the chase, well at least here there seems to be some sense of equality. god bless the stunt directors.

* The goons will never be able to get their aim right during a chase.. well they aren't good otherwise also.. but the hero's aim seems to get better during a chase and most of times,one bullet at the petrol tank and boom...

* Over the years the mode of transport has varied from horses to dilapidated cars to heavy trucks to motor boats.. but the directors still live in the make believe world of cops who use jeeps from 1960s and goons who use AK47s..!

Film makers now are actually making movies that make some sense and are believeable but then its the beauty of the no brainer chases that gives me my money's worth... where have all the unbelievable chases gone?? gimme back my cliche... gimme a story to tell my grandchildren! :D

A f f i N I T I E ...!

2007-10-04T02:35:00.000+10:00

43 distinguished years.. 3 serene lakes (still don't know which is the third one ).. 3 months spent here.. 3 tough papers in the module exams.. and 3 seconds before i end this worthless paragraph.. :O

Its been almost 100 days since I've come to this place and as some of you might be wondering why i haven't written what i do or have been doing all these days.. things really have moved at the pace of a 20-20 match and had my first sore finger in years cos of 1 week of physical torture called module exams.. :( The invigilator kept offering me additionals... but then everyone who wears spects and looks studious does not take 2 additionals :D

Apart from watching a zillion episodes of many series... i also tried my hand at playing football.. and playing in the rain was always a sure shot happening :) but as the ground was not maintained (thankfully it is now) there was waist high grass and for onlookers it looked like we were a herd of wild buffaloes migrating across the Serengeti.. i.e, while we chased the ball on the ground in the thick grass..

There were 2 freshers parties.. the second one was a return one.. but in both case Pareto's law worked brilliantly.. 20% of the ppl consumed 80% of the alcohol..! and ya in both cases the DJ was 4 degrees below pathetic :( .food vanished by the time the 3rd song finished.. :O

Talking of food... well there are 2 types of ppl in NITIE.. ppl who feel the mess food is bad.. and ppl who feel the food is very bad.. needless to say, the day food is good, people are generally in a good mood.. even if India lost a match due to bad umpiring decisions..

Few of the best moments at my stay in NITIE have come in front of the TV.. the T20 worldcup. the entire viewing lounge (that means 4 beds with mattresses gifted by Tipu sultan and that have not been dusted since..) would be filled with ppl irrespective of exams.. interviews. watever .. and we would collectively cheer,abuse.. celebrate, sulk... and destroy.!! we broke 2 beds in the anxiety to celebrate India's victory... thankfully we have an inventory of beds at our floor.. :)

It finally stopped raining here.. and after numerous "i lost my umbrella complaints" it feels nice to have the sun on your back.. although it means that the hankie will always be wet from sweat :O.Haven't seen much of mumbai yet.. except the most frequently used word in NITIE "Hiranandani"... well actually the most frequently used word here is the 4 lettered 'F' word...

Relax ppl... u judge me too fast... i meant "FART".. :P anyways, that was a leaf outta the book titled "My stay at NITIE". Will keep you posted with latest happenings in and around this place.. but the bottom line, its been fun to be a part of this commuNITIE.. :)

PS: NITIE has one of the most deadly roads leading to it.. and you might encounter roughly 23 cattle of different sizes,colours on the way... Holy cow! this place rocks.. :D

Love the games.. : Memoirs of a chaddi wala

2007-07-13T01:34:00.000+10:00

disclaimer: wear your thinking shorts on ;)

when was the last time you invented a game..? oops or atleast played a game? there was a time when i played non stop from 4pm to 8-9 pm every evening and most of the games where tailored to our fancies. It was like... wearing a chaddi gave u a licence to create and alter the rules.

so, long long ago.. when i used to wear shorts day in and day out... there were a few games that i indulged in and let me try and remember some of those games and their rules.. wait a minute .. what rules? :)

game1: Chor police
The 'police' never catch the 'chor' and the game always ends with one of the parents looking for their kid and finding him before the police does. Moral: u can never fool mom.

game2: 'i spy' or hide'n'seek commonly called ispice,eyespyce or whatever..
fastest way to count to 100.. learn from the guy who has to find everyone.people hide in the lamest of places.. seriously what was i thinking while hiding in a ........ :D

game3: Four poles/corners
Running from one corner/pole to another and exchanging places with the person at the other end before the 'denner' can catch you.it had an added flexibility of adding or removing a pole/corner based on no. of ppl :D

game4: Lingochha... scientific name: 7 stones
The first 30 mins of the game are lost in finding 7 good stones.Once the game starts, half of the time is lost in arranging the stones... now what was the actual aim of the game?? i enjoyed shouting "lingochha" anyways :)

game5: chain cut,cake cut... cut cut cut
Mad sprints in the arena.. and you would always want to catch a girl so that she can run along with you. worst part of the game is that sometimes 3 guys might have to hold hands together to catch another guy.! :O :D

game6: headtouch/legtouch
Not many people might have played these ones... i cant recollect them either.. lets call it quits.

game7: maarampeeti..
The most brutal game (comes close to kabaddi) of hitting people hard with a ball and its very dangerous.. cos when ball meets ball... (what were u thinking?? i meant eye ball..) u have to face the ire of the victims' parents. :P

can't recollect some of the other games.. and some other customised versions of the basic games. now if u ppl can recollect more of these.. do let me know :) and mind u, all of them should be games.. and not sports like cricket or baddy..

may be next time i can focus on rustic games like gilli danda and goli.. ;)

ps: games like "kitchen kitchen","mummy daddy","name place animal thing" etc will not be counted.send ur entries now. :)

cheers,
anup.

PJ Mallya - King of Bad Times .. :D

2007-05-30T18:10:00.000+10:00

The following is a collection of my PJs posted on a forum called pagalguy.com. Some of them might make u want to pull your hair out.. but cut me some slack, all of them are originals.. :) !

Starters:

1.) between 'dawn' and 'dusk' which is more authoritative..?
Ans.) dawn... because he intimidates dusk by saying.. " main hoon dawn.! "

2.) Why dont most ppl wake up early.. i.e when the day dawns.. or sun rises.. but instead get up when the sun is already shining bright..??
Ans.) because they realised.. "dawn ko pakadna mushkil hi nahin.. naa mumkin hain.."

3.) What would be Karan johar's next movie's name if it were to star Salman Khan,Sanjay dutt and hrithik..??
Ans.) "Kabhi kushi.. Kabhi Gym"

4.) if Quentin tarantino decides to make a mushy bollywood romantic movie.. what will he name it..?
Ans.) Kill Bill Pyar Vyar...

5.) If Ram gopal verma or Manirathnam decide to remake one of Steven Spielberg's classics with minimum light/ or no lighting.. then what would the title be..?
Ans.) Jurassic Dark ..!

6.) if Ajay devgan, tushar kapur, arshad warsi and sharmaan joshi plan to open a shopping complex.. what will they name it..??
Ans.) GolMall

7.) if michael hussy starts to pick his spot in the aussie batting line up and wants to bat at no. 3 and not no. 5 and sometimes wants to bat at no.4.. then what will he be called..?
Ans.) Michael Fussy

8.) Which batsmen with extraordinary talent has a name which suggests he is very ordinary..?
Ans.) Inza 'mamul' Haq

9.) If a half marathon were to be held in chennai.. which current sporting team in the country will win it hands down..?
Ans: Chennai Veerans (PHL team)
Why..? bcos -- Chennai We Run(s)...

10.) what did the distributors who bought Nikhil Advani's latest film about 6 couples and their relationships realise...??
Ans: That it was a Salaam-E-Risk

11.) how does a layman who does not know anything abt cricket decide who among Sunil gavaskar and Paul Harris (south africa) is playing... and who is already retired.??
Ans: By looking at their names
How? Sunil GaWasKar (Was playing cricket)
Paul HarrIs (Is playing cricket..!)

12.) If Linda Goodman were to remake one of this year's most nominated movies at the Oscars, what would it be called.??
Ans.) Little Miss SunSign

13.) An orthopaedist recommends Big B's movie to his patient complaning of joint pains.. which movie..?
Ans.) Knee-shabd

14.) if Sooraj Barjatiya, Sohail khan and RGV decide to make a movie together , what will it be called.??
Ans.) "Maine Pyar Kiya tho Darna Mana hain.."

15.) If Bajaj comes up with a bike targetting people who cant see properly.. i.e, have defective vision.. then what will they name it..?
Ans.) Bajaj CaliBlurr

Well.. these were the starters.. Main course and Dessert to be followed in coming posts.. :D
ciao.

yes scape velocity..!

2007-02-27T04:22:00.000+11:00

my palms are sweating, the heart beat is around 100 bpm, my vision is getting blurred, i fail to pick up sounds in the vicinity and my mind is becoming numb... no i am not having a heart attack, i am actually at the helm of my hyundai santro, driving in Hyderabad and believe me, it ain't lesser than a heart attack.!

If you are planning to learn driving in nawab land now, then u can kiss your driving dreams good bye, especially if you are the kind who has not driven anything apart from a scooty in your by lanes while occasionally hitting the milkman and the street dog with ur 25 kmph speed.

Driving here has become anything but easy or enjoyable and at the end of the day, i derive pleasure from the fact that there has not been a single scratch/dent on my car. But unfortunately few months back, after an impeccable record of 98 days without any scratches on my car, a tractor guy decided it was enough and took out the rear bumper of my car.. and yeah he was a Rajnikant fan i guess... Hamara Bajaj Allianz saved my that day, cos my car was insured with them.

here is what i learnt from my driving experiences, some of you might have been in the same boat.. err car as me.. so u might be able to connect to it..

Rule1: The road belongs to everyone except you, including the agonisingly slow cycle guy.. yes the guy who is teaching his girlfriend how to cross a road, the flower seller, and the occasional Buffalo..

Rule2: Get yourself a power steering. One of the best inventions, the power steering ensures u don't have swollen muscles and a sore body after twisting and turning 206 times per minute.. hello, you never know what you will run into.. so suddenly an auto from your right decides he wants to do a MiG-25 and swerves towards the footpath.. what do u do.? don't clap.. but swerve to the other side and just before you do that, ensure the bike behind you is not trying to squeeze into the 25mm gap between your car and the road divider..

Rule3: Orange means Green, Green means Green and Red also means Green..! well, most of the hyderabadis are colorblind when they are driving, and they will see every signal as green except if there is a cop standing at the junction. By the way, the cop will not be able to do anything, cos he inhales twice as much qty of toxic gases per day as the chimney of a leather industry does in a month.. so he will be ready to collapse if u just cough at him..!

Rule4: Don't remove your leg from the clutch... i almost keep forgetting that my car has a 4th and 5th gear.. where is the chance to shift to those gears..? if ever michael schumacher wants to commit harakiri.. i guess we can ask him to drive from Ameerpet to Khairatabad on a Friday evening.. (for people who are not familiar with Hyderabad, that equals to using a Suzuki hayabusa as a vending cart to sell vegetables.. pushing it around painstakingly)

Rule5: Practise murdering your Horn... the louder the better.. once i had to move out of the way of what i thought was a huge truck listening to its huge blare, but realised it was a 1987 model Maruti 800 with steroids... err i mean a huge horn.. As the policy goes, if you cant make the breaks of your car effective,make your horn sound like kingkong.!

well, sticking to these 5 golden rules should hold you in good stead to reach any destination in hyderabad within half a day.. but again it comes with usual disclaimers that neither of the roadworks,waterworks or telecom departments must ve laid their hands on the road you will be travelling on.. else you will find yourself on a mission to surface of Mars.. with all the bumps on the road..

hopefully, the year 2007 will be a dent free one for me.. and the moral of the story is, it doesn't matter if you drive well, if any of the vehicles in your line of sight conspire against you, your arse will be scratched.! :D

Me and my throttle... :)

i blink.. therefore i am..!

2007-01-10T02:25:00.000+11:00

i blink.. therefore i am.., but there are moments when you stop blinking and just savor the spectacle in front of you. The following is a travelogue on some of those awesome places that i have seen,felt,experienced.. and not blinked! hope to add to this list in the near future...

here we go , the 10 wonders :)

1.) The Taj Mahal

I had been to one of the wonders of the world, the feeling took a long time to sink :). There is an eerie calmness around the tajmahal, inspite of the huge flocking of visitors.A stunning beauty in marble and i realized its difficult to blink on the banks of yamuna..!

2.) Doddabetta, Ooty

Ever had the feeling of walking amongst the clouds.? welcome to doddabetta,Ooty.! on a foggy evening, you will find trouble in tracing your friend who is walking 2 paces ahead of you :). You have to wait for the cloud to pass and then you can find your way again. Best place for ppl who want to get rid of their belongings :D [ read as wives ;) ]

3.) Mt.wellington, Hobart

Thousands of feet above sea level, nauseating feeling and piercing wind. The city of hobart looks like a painting below you and because of the altitude, the keyless entry of your car wont work.! :) This place is very special to me, cos i had my first tryst with snow here...

4.) Shore temple, Mahabalipuram

Exquisite carvings on rocks, a simmering sea and a sun bathed temple. One of the first beaches that i visited and it swept me away. One of the best temples ive seen till date and you cant stop staring at the intricate sculpture all around the shore temple.. even the rocks seem like they've been chiselled upon..

5.) M.C.G, Melbourne

1 lakh people in a cauldron, each having unrestricted view to the action happening on the ground. The sheer size of the best cricket ground in the world will blow you away :). i was thrilled to knock off one item from my life's 'to do' list after i visited the Melbourne Cricket Ground.

6.) Rajpath and India Gate

According to moi,The best stretch of road on this planet. A joggers dream come true and it culminates at the imposing India Gate. How i wish i could drive along this stretch. i was staring from the windshield all along the drive and did not want the carpet like road to end.As majestic as it can get.!

7.) WineGlass bay, Tasmania

Rated among the top 10 beaches in the world, the view from atop a vantage point is mind numbing.. looks like a wineglass and the most perfect semicircular arc you will ever see.! :) sparkling white sand and crystal clear water will lure you into spending hours at this place.

8.) Sydney Harbor Bridge/Opera house

One of the most recognized combo on this planet :D, the harbor bridge and the opera house stand tall among the bustling suburb of Sydney.All you can think of at this place is pics,pics and more pics :). Missed the spectacular fireworks on new year's eve though :(

9.) Vaishno Devi -Jammu

A chilly evening and you decide to take a horseback ride to come down the hill. Sounds fun, until your horse decides it has lived enough and goes tantalizingly close to the edge of the path at each turn.! :D This place plays host to non stop crowds 365 days an year and you start chanting 'Jai mata di' subconsciously .!

10.)Great Ocean Drive/12 Apostles, Melbourne

The best drive of my life. Huge mountains on one side, a roaring sea on the other and a throttle inviting you to murder the winding road... aah magical.!If this ride does not excite you, then nothing else on this planet will.!

the Past and the furious

2006-11-10T02:21:00.000+11:00

Statutory WARNING: High Satire content

Ever wonder what kumar gaurav is doing now..? and where on earth is shakti kapoor..?? well today i shall take a dab at our forgotten celebrities (when they were celebrated) and what we can learn from them.. ya we can learn from everyone, including rabri devi..

what lessons did we learn..?

Forgotten Celeb 1

Vinod Kambli : Never cry in public , especially if you remove your helmet to reveal diamond studded earrings and a punk style bandana.. it gives an impression that you are crying because you will no longer be able to make money to embellish yourself!

Forgotten Celeb 2

Shakti Kapoor: Naughty boy.. Naughty boy, be a fatherly figure to your juniors... not a father to their offspring..

Forgotten Celeb 3

Rabri Devi: It does not hinder the process of running a state if you call up your husband in the middle of a meeting and ask how is the 3rd calf of the 4th cow doing..?!

Forgotten Celeb 4
Manisha koirala : who..?

Forgotten Celeb 5
Abdul Kareem Telgi: well some might argue when did he become a celebrity.. but there was a time when he figured on the main page of 95% of the dailies 86% of the time, and the lesson to be learnt is, you can earn a lot of fame by just saying "There are a lot of BIG people involved with me" even if they aren't.

Forgotten Celeb 6
Lakshmipathy Balaji: you can succeed at the highest level if you have a good smile (smile even if the batsmen whacks u for a 6!) and doesn't matter if you can't bowl properly..

Forgotten Celeb 7
Atal Behari Vajpayee: you can be a good speaker even if the gap between successive words that you speak is 43.6 seconds..

Forgotten Celeb 8
Abhijeet Sawant: you can earn an entry in Oxford dictionary's next edition by singing ONE song for all concerts/occassions
AbhijeetSawant: [Abhee jeeth-saw ant]
-noun
1.) to be a one song wonder
2.) to sing "Mohabbatein lutaunga" for every ocassion
-idiom
eg:- you have to show diversity, you cant be an Abhijeetsawant
-Related forms
Altaf Raja,Sundeep Acharya,Kunal Ganjawala,christina aguilera.

Forgotten Celeb 9
Narain Karthikeyan: Having a 'Speed' logo on your car need not translate to pace on the circuit.! ayyo coimbatore macha.. watchout he will be back (no you silly, not at the back of the starting grid.! )

Forgotten Celeb 10
Sanjay Kapoor: Again.. who..??

i can't remember any other forgotten celebs.., well i guess then it is justified that they are "Really Forgotten" celebrities :)
do add to this list anyone you think are worthy of this tag.!

till next time..
ciao,
anup

The 'COLOUR' of my love

2006-10-26T01:27:00.000+10:00

this one is from my archives, one of the 1st articles i wrote.. about 4 years back
i guess i was obsessed with the bizzare then! :) read on...

The following is a unique usage of COLOURS.
the passage contains about 25 colours substituted in place of words...

try to correlate each colour to a word sounding similar and you will understand it better. if you are still not able to figure it out , the original words follow the passage in the same order.Just put them in and read it out.

ALL THE CHARACTERS IN THE FOLLOWING
FEATURE ARE FICTIOUS AND BEAR NO RESEMBLENCE
TO ANY PERSON.. LIVING OR DEAD.

THE "COLOUR" OF MY LOVE

Am i REDy fo this????
is this the end to my long WHITE??

someone has started appearing in my CREAMES and i am
GREEN to know...
who is this ? who just BLUE me away!!!!

something is GOLDing me back and i have a PINKing feeling
in my heart..

who is she??? am i a CYAN of her?
why does it feel like she is saying YELLOW to me all the time..

i've started to look at PURPLE in a SAFFRON way...
i wish i could show her the oRANGE of my love.. well
after seeing me... she should come to a conclusion that
brain is anyday better than BROWN !!!

the ASH in my VIOLET and the KHAKI in my pocket will make
sure i am not under BEIGE when i take her out!!

i just hope that the wavelength of my colour is in sync with
her frequency and sincerely GREY to god than she doesn't
MAROON me...

even if she does.. my intution tells me, some day she'll
CHROME BLACK to me!!

so if you find a girl with INDIGO eyes,SILVER skin,
BURGUNDY hair and MAGENTA lips please tell her..
i am anxiously WHITING for her..

Anup.
Believe in nonsense.

THE COLOUR KEY:
REDy: ready
WHITE : wait
CREMES: dreams
GREEN: keen
BLUE: blew
GOLDing: holding
PINKing: sinking
CYAN: fan
YELLOW: hello
PURPLE: people
SAFFRON: different
oRANGE: range
BROWN: brawn
ASH: cash
VIOLET: wallet
KHAKI: car key
BEIGE: seige
GREY: pray
MAROON: maroon
CHROME: come
BLACK: back

A day down under...

2006-06-09T20:47:00.000+10:00

its 8.30 Am.. and i am still feeling lazy to get outta bed.. actually its not a bed..its a mattress on the floor.. its actually 2 mattresses.. where am i heading.? ok.. now that the first few words have been useless.. its time to know what i will be writing this time.. a Typical day in melbourne..:)

As i stay in a suburb far far away in a galaxy.... i have to catch a train to go to work.. my workplace is in the city. This terminology might be misleading.. cos in India..every part of the city is city but here.. only a set of streets is city and it is surrounded by suburbs...
btw all the streets look the same in the city and sound the same too..there is kings way,kings street,kings road,queens street,queens road... huh so much for royalty... and to make matters worst every suburb has its own kings street,kings road,queens street.what unimaginative ppl.. they just dont understand how good a Punjagutta or Tolichowki sounds!

so i take a 10 minute walk to the station and validate my 'Metcard'.. a small piece of paper with magnetic interface on one side which can be used on trains,trams and buses.. but it comes no where near our Bus PASS..!! and the satisfaction u derive when u say 'Pass' when the conductor comes to you asks for a ticket in an RTC bus.!! :)
Every other guy on the train has an ipod.. and 20% of them blare indian songs.. courtesy the ever growing desi population of melbourne. In a couple of years time,out of 10 ppl.. 4 will be australians,3 will be chaptas.. (those ppl figured out thatwe call them 'chinky'.. so that code aint working) and 3 will be.. u guessed it right... from the subcontinent.. :)

i take a tram from the city's most famous landmark.. Flinder's street station to my office.i listen to my cousin's discman.. but the best thing is that i use the eye catching white earphones of the ipod.. and the discman is in my bag... so it keeps ppl guessingwhether i use a shuffle,a nano or the bigger ipod.. :)

i enter into india.. my office is full of indians.. and the rare australian. :) its home territory. After a surpisingly busy morning.. a break for lunch.. a decision to chose the best amongst the bad.. and eat the same old bland stuff which is considered to be spicy... thank god MDH masalas are not looking to expand their business in Australia.. ;)
Afternoon is the toughest part.. with sleep knocking at ur desktop..! by the time i fight it off.. it is evening.. and hopefully no more issues for the day... If we are lucky enough.. we play football in the cubicle and cricket between the cubicles..once we spilled coffee over my lead's desk while playing volleyball in the office..he still thinks the people who clean the desks did it.. whoa... my appraisal is saved.:)

i Take the bus in the evening.. cos its more closer to my home.. but it is an agonising 40 mins through the heart of the city... its 6.30pm and you can hardly see any people on the streets..!! all the shops are closed... and night life is evident only on the weekends..But i have done something here that i never thot i will be able to.. and i doubt i will be able to in india.. i had a haircut on a Tuesday..!! :D
i walk to the supermarket.. and buy the official drink of our house.. the pesticide..we consume more softdrinks than water in our house.. but surprisingly i havent put on a lotta weight. My cousin cooks.. and i eat.. eat and eat.. and yeah.. i wash the vessels :) Its a pretty tiring end to a typical day...

huh.. have to set an alarm to wake up at 8 AM the next day...! good gosh help me.. and all these people who have painstakingly read through my travails on a typical sunny,windy,rainy day in the worlds most liveable city!!.

PS:It is said that melbourne has 4 seasons everyday and one of the most unpredictable weathers patterns on the planet..!The people at the meteriological dept really deserve a nobel prize. :)

The Quintessential Hyderabadi

2006-04-18T21:00:00.000+10:00

"arre bhai.. kaiko uske peeche jaare tum... tumko is galli me jao bola na main.. samajh mein nahi aaya kya... kahan kahan se aate re bhai yeh autowalleh...!!"this sentence will cause severe brain haemorrage if you are a connoisseur of pure hindi ... or the north india kinda hindi.. but it its pretty normal to the hyderabadi..! it is the only place on the planet where work has a plural form.. kya saab hame aur bhi kaama hein.. kitna dete hum ko..? (kaama is supposed to be the plural of kaam)

welcome to hyderabad.. where hindi is spoken like u've never heard before, with a mix of urdu and a pinch of telugu. It is the land of Pan grafitti and the self assumed king of the roads.. the auto wallahs..

Even though lucknow,ahmedabad and hyderabad have a similarity in the kind of hindu muslim community ratio.. it is the language of the hyderabadi that makes him unique and by far the most entertaining.. :) When you here this lingo for the first time , it 'll seem wierd.. but once you start talking.. believe me u will have a lotta fun..
May be that is the reason why, whenever i start speaking hindi.. after a few sentences,i am back to speaking hurdu..!

The time i have stayed away from home, the thing that is missed most about Hyderabad(apart from biryani) is the gamut of languagues i get to hear. The repertoire of languages the city boasts of is amazing. The way a telugu,a tamilian and a mallu speak hyderabadi hindi is different and its awesome when there is a debate amongst the 3..!

Just when u think you have heard enough... you will be taken aback with the literary prowess of the hyderabadi in the sub category of "Gaali", simply said it means bad language. :) when a hyderabadi swears in hurdu.. you would feel that you'd rather be in beirut amongst the suicide car bombs.. than bear the brunt of the verbal storm :).. and you thought voice modulation aids only in playback singing..!! :)

so the next time u decide to confront a hyderabadi... dont tell me i dint warn you..:) and the best way to speak to a hyderabadi is to brush up ur hurdu..!! go ahead.. be a hyderabadi.

My Journey to OZ Land - Part Trois

2006-03-18T18:22:00.000+11:00

MH 199 KUL - MEL

got into a bigger flight this time as it was a 7.5 hrs journey. It was a boeing 777 thistime , but the seating looked similar to the 737 one. But this one had a TV set behind each seat.. so i could watch what i could. Just finished watching "Rebound".. Martin Lawrence starrer.. a comedy one.. nice timepass..

Had a heavy lunch... it was a hindu meal.. and it had non-veg again.There was curd,gulab jamun,fruit salad,pepsi,icecream... huh. finished them all.. and feeling pretty heavy.There is somelady sitting beside me... wish it would be someone else.. i mean someone whom i can talk to but again.. there is this feeling that if i start cracking my jokes, then.. ok lets not get started on that.

There are some hindi movies also to be watched.. eg: Kya kool hain hum.. the super hitmovie.. if i am unable to sleep,, then i will watch it.just another 4 hrs left before i touch down in melbourne city.My cousin would be waitin for me.. this is similar to a volvo bus journey.. am unable to stretch my legs.. :( am trying all kinds of postures here.. just dont wanna wake up the lady who is sleeping beside me..i will try sleeping now.. lets see how it goes.. until someone comes and offers me a snack or a drink.. hmm.. signing off for now.. will continue after some time.. or probably after i land in melb.. bye

it was 7.40 pm by the time i landed in melbourne... the city with its lights was gr8. it took me lotta time to get my baggage as i checked it in first at hyderabad.. now i had to wait ages to get it... saw everyone's bags on the conveyor belt... finally got mine and went to the custom's check. I was afraid they will ask me to remove all the food items i was carrying.. but luckily.. they dint.. i was carrying lotta snacks and pickels.. !!! :) :)
My cousin was waiting for me... good to see him after 2 yrs.. :). we took a bus to the place where he lives... a lady was driving that huge bus... felt weird.. but have to getused to all this.. :)
that was it.. i was in melbourne after 12 hrs of travel.. huh... called up home.. was relieved that it was a journey without any major hassles...
i am signing off on this note.. just wish i had more time to spend at the Kuala Lampur airport.. it was truly amazing.. dwarfing even the Melbourne airport in size and class............

My journey to OZ land - Part Deux

2006-03-06T16:47:00.000+11:00

MH 199 HYD-KUL

my first brush with an international flight... and i was greeted by airhostess's dressed in greeeeeeeeen.... all of them.. even the interiors of the malaysian airlinesflight were predominantly green.. making me wonder, am i travelling to Indonesia or malaysia... (those of u who dint get that one.. indonesia has the world's largest muslim populationso... green is the color of that nation,, )

anyways.. moving on.. i first went through the business class.. man they have some luxuries..but i was shown seats at the back of the aircraft.. as mine was economy class. There were7 seats in each row.. and as expected, the window seat was mine.. 3/4th of the flightwas empty.., so i slept on 4 seats fully stretching myself.. thank god.. else it would have been similar to a painful Volvo bus journey.. just the difference being.. we are spared of the bumps.. (had a few though on the Hyd runway!!) and somewhat better looking ppl to take care of you.

they started serving all kinds of stuff.. had chicken curry for dinner,, err.. i alreadyhad dinner at home.. so i should call it a mid night meal.i spilled some coffee on theblanket,,, but covered it well.. :) There was some not so interesting program beingshown on the big screen in the flight.., "how to defy the ageing process..!!".. huh and i had to go thousands of Km above the earth to see that.. :(Eventually that got over.. and there was this option of music which i never even heard of.. even the names of the artists.. strange.. may be these artists sing onlyfor malaysian airlines.. The bathroom was small and i will leave it to your imagination.

4 hrs got over pretty quickly and the pilot was announcing in some strange language,that we will be landing in KL shortly.. well.. they call Kuala Lampur KL with love..that is what the pilot made us believe. It was raining out there.. and pretty cold.

The airport was awesome.. it is like eons ahead of indian airports.. got to see a lottapeople of different nationalities.. could make out with their accents..!! The US,UK and aussie ppl stand out. Was searching for the gate into which i have to check into to board my plane to Melbourne..
got to know from a map that i have to travel to another terminal in a tram and catch the flight there.there were lotta ppl... and yeah, its not only in mumbai and chennai thatppl hustle their way into the train.. it happens everywhere.. :).My hand baggage was killingme.. i desperately had to get a trolly for it. wanted to call home.. so went to buy a calling card.. hmm but i dint have malaysian Ringets.. so exhanged the aussie dollars for a few ringets and bought a card. Had a tough time figuring out how to use the card..

There was some problem at the checkin.. i dint have a boarding pass,, mine was a throughcheckin from hyderabad to Melbourne.. so i dint get a second brdng pass.. but the lady insisted that i show my pouch to her.. she dint believe that i dint have one.. i still cant understand why she was thinking i was hiding the boarding pass from her andplaying some kinda prank on her.. i hope i dont see cleverer staff.. :)

Took some time out to roam about in the KLIA (Kuala Lampur International Airport.) got to see Versace,Christian Dior,Gucci,Bvlgari outlets for the first time.. good that i dint have much money and time...

My journey to OZ land - Part Une

2006-03-05T18:12:00.000+11:00

i am sitting in the security lobby of the airport here.. and narrating my experience of my flight journey abroad... :)
got a laptop.. so i can type as things happen.. but i thought my company gave me a laptop for different reasons.. !!

my hand baggage was no where near the stipulated 8Kgs.. and my shoulders are swooning.. the total luggage itself crossed the limit.. but the guy at malaysian air.. knew mom..so things were cool... and here i am, carrying more than what im supposed to..
there are nothing but clothes in my luggage... and yeah.. the usual pickles.. that grandmom made with lotta love and chilli powder...!!there was the usual gathering of guests at the house making it almost impossible to have some time for myself..

it was a nice feeling to stand on the other side of the huge barricade in the Hyd airport..atlast after seeing off 6732 people.. i get to go out of india.. and ppl have come to see me off.. :) :) well.. i know.. i kinda exaggerate a bit.. !!
just saw the Lufthansa airhostess's go by.. hmm not bad.. but i saw a whole fleet of them.. got a feeling that they are going to board the titanic.. and not a boeing..!! everyone around me is thinking that i am doing some important work on my laptop.. :) but little do they know.. that i am kinda working on a blog...

am just waiting to get into the flight.. i put a window seat for preference.. lets seeif i get one.. even if i get one.. i dunno what i will be able to spot in pitch darkness.have been attending calls all day long.. it is vijaya dasami now.. i mean it is past 12..what a day to begin your journey..
ok i conclude my pre flight episode here.. it is stretching too long and i dont wanna give ekta kapoor stiff competition... byebye.. till i get into the flight.. and hear that oft repeated phrase.. "Fasten your seat belts.."

The Nickname repeller..

2006-02-08T23:19:00.000+11:00

nickname...
do you u have one..?? you are pretty unlucky if you dont have one..well, having a nickname is something not everyone boasts of... and this time i am trying to ponder why i never ever had a nick name throughout my schooling and engineering...that is.. the nickname i know of, and not what ppl who dint like me said behind my back :)

lemme give you a small example, take a simple conversation..
A: hey dude, what are you doin for 31st nite ??
B: i guess i will have a blast with bigshow,goli,ragz,vp and itom

well howz that compared to ..

B: i guess i will have a blast with karthik,ramakrishna,raghavendra,pavan and swathi..!!??
the first answer sounded much better ain't it.?

There is something special that the nickname brings to one's personality that the name doesn't..!(lotta crap) and after you get a nick name, you just give up ur real name and i know scores of people who just know the nick names and not the original names of ppl..! thats the kind of affect the it has.

One simple rule, the name that ur parents used to call you when u were young doesn't count as a nick name.. unless your friends still call you the same name till date and you are popular by that name..! chinnu,chotu,pappu,raja,kutti,kutta,babloo,abloo,are straight out of the big book of nicknames for babies... u gotta have something that u earned by virtue of ur deeds or ur oh so long name..:)

You get an identity with your nickname.. u become popular with that nick name.. or that nick name makes you popular.. involuntarily ppl start calling u that... and even if you dislike it, the feeling later sinks in and you wudn't mind ppl calling you 'bakri' or 'bhare'.. :)

in my case, having a four lettered name proved a bane, as even an acronym was not possible . Many ppl get a nick name cos their name is too long and ppl break it and bang.. youhave a nick name.!!.If you have a weird sounding or a catchy surname, that helps too... u get a nick name through that.. i failed on that front too and the biggest irony i think is the fact that i coined nick names for so many of my friends and i never got christened ... was i not nick name worthy..?? (and the oscar goes to...)

well all this fuss about not having a nick name might sound a bit exxagerated and unreal,but the bottom line is.. having a nick name is cool.. even if it is a weird one like condom..!! i know someone by that nick name by the way.. :)

in sport,in entertainment,in politics... every where ppl are famous with their nick names,and if javagal srinath can have a nick name called 'mysore express' then i guessanyone can have it..!! one fine day.. god said let there be nick names and then adam was referred to as 'the apple guy'.. :) (some might argue it is better suited to steve jobs though)

so all you lucky ppl out there with nick names.. bask in the glory while u have it...and for me.. it will always be one of my biggest regrets in life...

Compliments... err.. i mean

2006-01-29T21:17:00.000+11:00

Ladies and gentlemen.. my foray into blogging..

hmmm..its been a loooooong break.. im back to writing nonsense again.. just that im trying to rediscover my old self..was reading all the stuff that i had written earlier.. and realised im not that bad..

if people can pass off as excellent script and story writers with movies like 'kaal' and 'murder' then i too am a great writer...... :) am still searching for a topic while i am writing, someone suggest one wait.. lemme think...

i think i'll write about the art of giving compliments.... wow, the word itslef sounds great.... especially if u hardly recieve them... it is that much more coveted. Just imagine someone coming up to you and saying.. "wow ur looking terrific today"it certainly makes you feel good

but there are some people...... u give them compliments and they are like.. "hmm ya.. tell me something new..".. u'd rather not give them any compliments.Well the whole point im trying to prove is that im really struggling to write a blog.

Anyways.. most people think twice,thrice or many many times and rehearse it in their minds before they give compliments. That shudn't be the case. Imagine a scenario.. you see one of your class mates.. u r trying to impress her by saying she looks good although she is wearing the same dress for the 3rd time in the week... u take 10 mins of time to rehearse the dialogue.. "hi... u r looking really ??? today" and then u think should i say cute, or sweet, or great or beautiful... but remember one thing.... never say hot!!

hmm.. so where was i.. yeah.. by the time u think of all this and walk hesitantly towards her..suppose some truck comes and splashes mud on her dress...... then alas.. all ur effort is gone waste.. or probably u can still go ahead and say "u r looking cute now..!!" rest assured.. u will not be that popular with her.. :)

i some how feel i m treading a dangerous path and feel like i am giving a lecture on how to impress gals... well that is not the objective of this excercise..
ok.. so whats so nice about compliments?? the best thing about them is that you will feel better after you give one.. and even the person who gets it will be happy.. atleast in most of the cases.. unless u say .. " u look like ur cute dog... " and stuff.

so it is a win win situation. Never think twice before u give a compliment.... either u give it... or dont... (i am not a fan of lycra by the way. ) .. ya wat i was saying is that either you give it confidently at one go... or you dont.. the basic point is that a compliment is best recieved when ppl are not expectingit ... that it should be a pleasant surprise...... but not a very big surprise also... u just cant give ppl compliments like " u have a laughing smile"," ur smiling is nice" ... ppl dont mind not getting compliments.. but they hate it when u say something that might mean something else.. or sometimes.. mean nothing..

some people give compliments just because they have to.. it is a compulsive thing...and you can make it out easily... something like.. they'll say "wow nice dress".. and in their mind they will be thinking "koti ka maal hain... cheap quality.. will not last long.." they'll say.. "hey cool hair style.". and theyll think "what happened to him.. ?? he was ok till yesterday! "
well if you are thinking all these are my personal experiences.. then you are wrong... but now i think they really could have been my experiences.... hmmm..

so the bottom line is that... compliments are geat if they are spontaneous and they make ppl feel really really good.... believe me... the next time u see someone really pretty,really nice.. even if u dont know them.. just go and tell them what you feel..... depending on their reaction i will decide whether to write another blog of this sort or not.... !!