Resolutions on new year are such a cliche.. talking of cliches one thing that is clichefied to the extent that new born babies can predict what will happen next are the chases in our movies... long live the ramp and the flower cart. (details later)
The usual prerequisites for a cliched chase are an old jeep/bike, couple of crowded streets,a know it all hero (who needs GPS?), and a bunch of goons with ultra low IQ levels.. seriously i always think of all the goons in all the movies worldwide and i wonder why our desi goons have the lowest IQ levels, but they are the people who make the rajnis,mithuns and balakrishnas of our world look good.!
The following is the 8 marks answer for salient features of Indian chases : (exam hangover i guess)
* A bunch of goons will never be able to catch the heroine.. even if she is wearing 3 inch pointed heels and running in a desert.. and the chase ends in she bumping into the hero.. who btw has no work in life at that precise moment.
* When the goons take away the hero's sister or lady love and the hero is stranded in no man's land.. wait a minute, he always manages to get a bike or a jeep whose owner has gone for a leak.It doesn't matter actually, even if the keys aren't there!
* The chase always goes through streets which are littered with fruit/vegetable carts waiting to be rummaged into.. and yeah i forgot the all time favorite empty barrels.. if you are fortunate you can also witness a garland from the cart flying and sitting on the shoulder of the hero after the accident.. (water.. water.. pls..)
* The one aspect that has caught my fancy since i was a child are these arbit 'ramps' that keep coming up at the exact moment for the hero to get away.. or for the goon to jump into the nearest water body. Again, simple genius at work..
* The shortcuts en route the chase are known only to the hero and if the hero is chasing the goon then that leaves the goon no bloody chance to out pace him.. after all, he is the one who can jump 40 feet in the air just by shifting the gear of his bike!
* Neither the hero nor the goon runs out of gas during the chase, well at least here there seems to be some sense of equality. god bless the stunt directors.
* The goons will never be able to get their aim right during a chase.. well they aren't good otherwise also.. but the hero's aim seems to get better during a chase and most of times,one bullet at the petrol tank and boom...
* Over the years the mode of transport has varied from horses to dilapidated cars to heavy trucks to motor boats.. but the directors still live in the make believe world of cops who use jeeps from 1960s and goons who use AK47s..!
Film makers now are actually making movies that make some sense and are believeable but then its the beauty of the no brainer chases that gives me my money's worth... where have all the unbelievable chases gone?? gimme back my cliche... gimme a story to tell my grandchildren! :D
The usual prerequisites for a cliched chase are an old jeep/bike, couple of crowded streets,a know it all hero (who needs GPS?), and a bunch of goons with ultra low IQ levels.. seriously i always think of all the goons in all the movies worldwide and i wonder why our desi goons have the lowest IQ levels, but they are the people who make the rajnis,mithuns and balakrishnas of our world look good.!
The following is the 8 marks answer for salient features of Indian chases : (exam hangover i guess)
* A bunch of goons will never be able to catch the heroine.. even if she is wearing 3 inch pointed heels and running in a desert.. and the chase ends in she bumping into the hero.. who btw has no work in life at that precise moment.
* When the goons take away the hero's sister or lady love and the hero is stranded in no man's land.. wait a minute, he always manages to get a bike or a jeep whose owner has gone for a leak.It doesn't matter actually, even if the keys aren't there!
* The chase always goes through streets which are littered with fruit/vegetable carts waiting to be rummaged into.. and yeah i forgot the all time favorite empty barrels.. if you are fortunate you can also witness a garland from the cart flying and sitting on the shoulder of the hero after the accident.. (water.. water.. pls..)
* The one aspect that has caught my fancy since i was a child are these arbit 'ramps' that keep coming up at the exact moment for the hero to get away.. or for the goon to jump into the nearest water body. Again, simple genius at work..
* The shortcuts en route the chase are known only to the hero and if the hero is chasing the goon then that leaves the goon no bloody chance to out pace him.. after all, he is the one who can jump 40 feet in the air just by shifting the gear of his bike!
* Neither the hero nor the goon runs out of gas during the chase, well at least here there seems to be some sense of equality. god bless the stunt directors.
* The goons will never be able to get their aim right during a chase.. well they aren't good otherwise also.. but the hero's aim seems to get better during a chase and most of times,one bullet at the petrol tank and boom...
* Over the years the mode of transport has varied from horses to dilapidated cars to heavy trucks to motor boats.. but the directors still live in the make believe world of cops who use jeeps from 1960s and goons who use AK47s..!
Film makers now are actually making movies that make some sense and are believeable but then its the beauty of the no brainer chases that gives me my money's worth... where have all the unbelievable chases gone?? gimme back my cliche... gimme a story to tell my grandchildren! :D
Comments
coming to south..our semi-bald super heroes will never stop amusing me..Long live those "cliches" *wink*
gud post... :)