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Pirates of ViharLake : Curse of the black pulse

disclaimer: The views expressed in the tirade below are mine,mine and only mine.No committee or commuNitie endorses it.No offense intended to people connected to the facility.. But pun, definitely intended..

A serene location in west India, where a cook from karnataka prepares panneer for a hungry Andhraite... globalisation?? no that's recipe for disaster!! btw welcome to the place i eat or in local lingo Wat is called a 'mess'.Whoever coined that term, saw a pun in it.. at least earlier than i did! Gentleladies and gentleman, fasten your seat belts.. cos the ride is going to be MESSy

I keep wondering if our mess is the world's most 'Aloo' friendly mess.. Mr.Sharad Pawar can back me up on this.. its always 'aloo this' or 'aloo that', and if its not the case, then it is 'that with aloo' or 'this with aloo'. If ever there's a rise in potato prices due to shortage, then hopefully we will get to taste exotic things called other vegetables..

Apart from making spoofs of malai kofta, all types of panner masala, veg biriyani and rasugollas the cook also indulges in soda flavoured curd, sugar water (read as lemon juice), elaichi water (read as tea) and 'eat it if you can' biriyani. The one that takes the cake is the Chinese food dished out every Friday.. oh my gaaaaaaawd..! (I wonder if the guy who cooks on Friday is actually a watchman from Nepal who looks Chinese and cooks miserable-ese)

The mess usually gets highest patronage on Wednesdays when chicken is served.. btw chicken here means rejected neck pieces, the bones you never thought existed in a foul and liver.. which gives us a feeling, it doesn't matter if there's bird flu or not, chicken is still scarce man..! Panneer on the same day reminds you of Natraj plasto eraser. (good exercises for the teeth and gums btw)

The snacks and breakfast somehow manage to raise the bar from utterly atrocious to bearable.But again like the disclaimer: mutual fund investments are subject to market risk, please read the offer document carefully before investing (all in one breath in 3 secs), you are susceptible to FluCtuaTionS in quality. Talk of starting your day with a bang..!

All said and done, there are some good things also like the butter milk, the 'thank god the radius increased' gulab jamun, the jalebi, the dahi wada.. gosh I'm running out of options...
I don't think i've said all i wanted to, but please do try to read between the lines! :)

Everyday, we Spartans go to war.. sometimes we win with great difficulty, but most of the time its 300 reasons why the food beats us into submission !! good gosh, its that time of the day now...

Its time for dinner again... SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.........


Yours frustratingly,
A n u p.


PS:The author lost 5 kilos in the last 6 months.And no.. its not an exaggeration unless the weighing scale at the dispensary is severely under calibrated. Lets hope the vegetables,cereals and pulses are put to better use in the future.... Amen!

Comments

Praveena said…
Firstly thanks for my link on your pg .. u better keep it til the end of time!! :D

hmm talking abt food i surely can relate to it... I have lived on cornflaks for 1 whole day.. :O

May be a lil outta context but..:
I understand the hard work you are putting in and just hanging in ther.. I know for whom.. and for what..Dont give up on all that.. dont lose weight...:).. We appreciate edison for that bulb he made.. m sure ur hard work wil be equally rewarded..! Amen!

btw.. good post.. frustration with humor.. only u can write like this!:)
Praveena said…
i read it again.. n cant stop laffing..!! hehehehehehahahahahaa
Inside Memories said…
Very well written :D just cant stop rolling...keep up the humour dude

being a part of this Messy system all i can say is 'poor us'.....and all what he has written is truth, truth and just the truth...bwt he forgot 1 detail of the free dose of mosquitoes that accompany each and evrey meal..
Kalp said…
Someone said we have 26 Alphabets In Inglish Language .... I doono who certifies the words,Letters etc etc adoptation to the cultures...for different countries ..One Sincere suggestion to you is pls make you Blog more Public ..Like the Narendra Modi Canvasing and Show the World how to PLAY (Telugu lo chethi vella meedha chukkallu chupinchadam antaru :) ) with the words and Phrases ..

As ever Good one is what i can say..
sandeep said…
:D long live nitie. long live the mess.
Anonymous said…
.... and gosh!!... to clean up one 'mess' we have another 'mess'.. which lives up to the expectations of the rats in the first mess..
Prathibha said…
FlucTuaTiNg...!! Lolz.. nice punology dude.. :p keep up the good work... btw when u describe gulab jamuns I guess the paraphernalia..equipment..and surgical intrsuments to ward of accidentliaty intentional (:devil:) injuries.. ought to be mentioned.. or on the contrary u can just say.. hmmm they are soft enough to be eaten..!
Agasti Kale said…
This reminds of my college Mess... We happily and intentionally used to call it as GOBI Mess... Just like you described ur mess as aaloo mess.. Thank God Aalo can be well mixed with other vegetables and makes surprising, astonishing (Good, Bad, Ugly...) dishes.. But Gobi... Gawd.....
Sometime it used to be my fav among veggies...
Thanks to Gobi mess.. I got into Gobimania.. only my mom cured me.. :)
Only once in month we used to eat food in mess (rest all gobi).. thats feast day.. and dahi bada, kala jamun, badam milk, etc.. we used to devour them and no one used to touch rotis...

Pun filled blog dude..keep it up with even with ur loosing weight..
Anonymous said…
Actually I have never met/seen anyone who has lost weight at NITIE despite the "awesome" spread.Everyone has prosperity increase multi-fold in their ab region.
So congratulations you might just start a much needed trend.

WSW
IM 13
iPod Touch said…
Awesome post..lol

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