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Suhaana Suffer..!!

Traveling in Mumbai is an art.. err.. i think its a science.People who think its an art just sit back and admire the maddening crowd getting in and out of the trains and buses... while those who think its a science.. do what science endorses.. experiment.!

There might have been around 1,85,678 documented past experiences of people's travails in local trains.. but i would want to focus on the lesser of the two evils.. the BEAST .. oh sorry, BEST buses. Although i would suggest that, if you are having a perfectly fine day and just for the heck of it want to experiment with how unforgiving life can be.. then just try getting into a Churchgate-Virar Fast local at DADAR at 5.56 pm. on a weekday. It will be enough pain,suffering and inspiration to write a book on the theme "My last few hours.. and how i was reborn".

Coming back to the task i set upon doing.. the journey in BEST buses.. hmm, well first things first. I have to admire the whole system and network of the buses.. they go to almost all the corners of this "i don't know where it ends" city and bear the brunt of roads that have been battered by the rain. The make up of roads in Mumbai is a little different, they are not of tar (that would mean 34 coats in the monsoon season), but of cement blocks which last longer and need pretty much zero maintenance after laying them. But but but.. once damaged it usually might take an election season to repair them.!

I was not a regular commuter in the buses until "Summer Internship" happened. So all the wanna be ibankers (yeah those were the days when ppl wanted to be..), consultants, analysts along with the nearby milkman, his school going daughter, the night shift security guard and other normal people would be crammed into a bus that travels almost the whole length of Mumbai, starting from my college.

The most striking feature of any bus journey I've seen is that the Conductor of the bus is always frustrated, no matter what time of the day and even if you tender exact change of Rs 8.85 paise to him.. BTW the price on the tickets is in Marathi so u make a guess,give the money and pray to god that u get back the max change possible.

The Bus no.s are written in large font in the front in MARATHI! i finally managed to master all the no.s and was proud of it.. but just yesterday i read 83 as 76.. :O all the effort of learning no.s down the drain :( . Another irritating thing about the bus is that there are NO numbers on the backside of the bus.. so if the bus just left the stop and you are trying to catch it.. wait, how will you know which bus is it? :O there has to be some kind of divine intervention.. which im sorry doesn't even happen in Hindi movies nowadays.!

All said and done, Mumbai bus drivers are the most patient ones unlike the "why am i doing this job" conductors and they ought to be, cos driving a bus at a painstakingly slow 5km/hr in a run of the mill traffic jam needs much more than a repertoire of abuses!. One of the very few places in India where Double Deckers are still plying, and more shockingly may be the only place where a proper queue is made to get into the buses..!!(at least at major junctions). Now.. discipline would be last on your mind when you are drenched in sweat... but try breaking a queue.. pandora's box would sound like an euphemism!!

The moment my summer internship finished there was a huge sense of relief that i don't have to travel again.. but with the possibility of a winter internship of 4 months looming ahead.. i think its time i get myself prepared and fit for the sweat fest...!


PS: Try to spot me in this pic :)

Comments

Anonymous said…
Truly one of the BEST narrations of the BEST bus journeys...have always been a fan of your style of humour ..especially the attention you gave to all the minute details in ur so called 'experiment' really made it a remarkable read !!
Hope you get the grip over the marathi numbers( 83-76 :P ) and the buses start putting the number plates at the back too by the time you start with ur voyage part-2 during ur winters again :P
till then keep up the gud work :)
Anonymous said…
Nice post.
Excuse me if I am being technically correct. Most of the fares are x.85 and the remaining 15 paise is adjusted as tax. I think it is also mentioned in the ticket.
Anonymous said…
hmmm...

So u remember the number of employees, Boeing has as of 2008, as taught in the class today... :D

BTW... nice post... :)
Quicksilver said…
why so anonymous comments ? anyone we might know ;)
btw me ibanker. me go worli next summer. wish me luck :|
Vasu said…
Had fun reading it mentor :) I already have something to anticipate for my summers. Though i have not yet felt the comfort of the BEST buses, this post enlightened me a lot about them. I may end up spending a good 4 hours everyday during my summers. God save me :|
Neo2000 said…
oh man come on BEST is an excellent way to travel :-p

and if in a year and a half you still haven't mastered marathi numbers, I should set the MNS on you :-p
Vaibhav said…
Nice post! For all that Mumbai is, I still like the place a lot...

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